I’ve been self-isolating with my family for over a week now. All is good and we’re healthy.
What’s been amazing to see is how the Danes have responded to messages from the Prime Minister and Queen.
Upon being asked to take self-isolation seriously and stop panic buying, that’s exactly what most Danes did.
The streets and playgrounds are no longer as crowded and the stores have many of the shelves filled.
Society here, in general, has a culture of caring for others. I’m grateful to be isolating during this time in Denmark (they’re not out buying guns or hoping for herd immunity)
And keeping in the spirit of Danish calm and happiness, here are 2 tips that have been helping me and my family while we’re all at home together 24 hours a day! I hope they help you too.
1. Rewind, Repair and Replay
The 3R’s are a terrific tool for learning to recover when we make mistakes with others. And believe me, when you’re cooped up with loved ones for long periods, you’re going to make mistakes.
My wife and I are getting OK at this now, as we’ve had 7 years of practice (we discovered it through Pam Leo’s Connection parenting), but I do still fail often, and this week was no different.
So, if you find yourself getting stressed and short-fused with those you love, try the 3R’s approach, and remember it’s good for everyone, not just between you and your children.
1. Rewind – Acknowledge internally that you were hurtful or rude
2. Repair – Apologise for what you said and how you said it
3. Replay – Try again, only this time responding with kindness and the intent to connect (this is super important, without replay the repair is not as meaningful)
Here’s a good example from me this week:
In my mind: ‘Oh no, I grabbed Riley (my toddler son) away from the TV as he was pushing it, and I didn’t give him any warning for what I was about to do, he’s now crying and upset.’
To Riley: “I’m sorry I grabbed you without letting you know what I was going to do and why. It was the wrong way to get your attention. I love you (repair)”
To Riley: “Lets start over. I see you were pushing the TV and that’s dangerous, it could break too. Let’s go play with Lego, you’re brother has made a Lego squid, it’s amazing!”
If they can give you context verbally this is also where you listen to them.
2. Focus on optimism
Viktor Frankl once said “The one thing you can’t take away from me is the way I choose to respond to what you do to me. The last of one’s freedoms is to choose one’s attitude in any given circumstance.”
Your kids and partner are at home and you’re all going crazy?
Just think of all that precious time you have with your loved ones now! If it’s your kids, then wow, you’re all really getting to know each. What about your pet? I bet they’re appreciating having you around? I know if I was one of the millions of dogs left at home for 6-8 hours a day I’d be loving it right now.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed and stressed, remember another Viktor Frankl favourite
“The problem is not the problem, the problem is your attitude about the problem”
Optimism is a strategy, not a delusion.
Here’s wishing you health and wellness!
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I hope you enjoyed this episode of Notes from a Small Country? I’d love feedback directly or in the comments. Which part was your favourite? What do you want to see more or less of? Other suggestions? Let me know!