Category: Blog

I can be particular about choices, and to others’ frustration I can definitely take time choosing even the littlest thing (from a simple coffee to where my fruit originated from).

In my last job role a friend told me that I ‘Purvis’ things, like presentations, processes and even simple communication like email going to a wider audience. He was right, mostly it was unnecessary, and at times just fussy. The thing is, I found it hard not too. So I began my journey in understanding there are parts of my life where I over think and waste my time, and worse than that I can waste the time of others.

So what about quality? What I’ve described so far is quality, at least a perception of it.

I’ve been working on the challenge of quality in previous engineering roles, video game roles and now with the Unity engine. I’ve been focused on helping build quality products and most of all (my main passion in work) how to build them skilfully.

So while working out how to communicate what a quality model could look like i.e. answering the age old question ‘what is quality?’ I stumbled upon the idea that the quality model I was drawing covered everything in life not just business. How so? At the centre of quality is people. From the people you work with to the people you spend your life with. You and the people you’re surrounded by create quality. Quality is the magic that happens when people get together and understand the Why, How and What in life.

Here’s where I’ve landed so far

There are 3 core elements to my quality model (I say ‘my’ loosely as I’m sure I’ve unconsciously stolen it from somewhere):

Quality of product (or life) – this is the WHY i.e. Why are you making it? Why are you doing what you’re doing? Why are you living your life in such a way?

Quality of production (or living) – this is the HOW i.e. how are you building your product? How are you living your life? Are you doing it effectively? Are you doing it skilfully? Are you considering others?

Quality of service (or responding) – this is the WHAT i.e. What are you doing for the customers of the product? E.g. Response times for issues, how you retain and increase customer happiness. In life, quality of service is how you respond to what happens to you, what you do with others and how you treat yourself and those around you.

Starting a couple of weeks ago I began to integrate these 3 elements into my gratitude journal, meditation, interaction with others and my role at work. The difference I’m experiencing is one of purpose. I’m more purposeful when including quality elements directly in my thinking and actions. I’m still failing to include it all the time however, it’s going to take continual practice and habit (like brushing my teeth morning and night) to master.

An example of not using it happened earlier this week, where life became overwhelming for me. The troubles encountered trying to get our dog Bertie from the UK to Denmark tipped the scales and my coping mechanisms failed. The sheer amount of things to complete for our Denmark relocation is still huge, the backlog I have at work is becoming difficult to manage, the savings we’re spending is upsetting and being the best person I can be at the same time is challenging. I broke inside and Mandie helped pick me back up. Always the optimist and fabulous wife, she got me back on track. It was momentary, 30 minutes where I became overwhelmed and despondent.

Afterwards, on my train journey to Unity I considered Quality of service, where I reminded myself that no matter what the situation, I can respond with joy not despair. Everything unexpected that’s been challenging has been out of my control. How I respond is the most important part I play. As an avid stoic I’m usually good at problems and overcoming them. However, I’ve not had this many things going on at the same time before, and coping strategies for the sheer scale of what needs doing is where I was unprepared.

Now I’m using this quality model proactively as well as reactively, it’s really making a difference. If you like it and try it in life or business please let me know how it works out. Also, it’s far from perfect and has gaps, if you’d like to send your input and help make it better with me I’d love that! You can direct message me at [email protected].

I’m in Legoland Denmark and the last time I enjoyed myself this much in a theme park was Universal Studios in 1996.

I’d arrived at LA’s train station, having watched with trepidation as I saw the drug camps and gangs on the way in. I was 23 and tiring of finding safe places to stay in the USA. In 1996 the US still hadn’t mastered the art of backpackers and hostels. I’d stayed in YMCA’s (some of these were mattresses on floors with rats running around at night) as well as motels like the one from Psycho the movie, where an owner was sometimes overly interested in me so I frequently wedged a chair against my door at night.

So coming into LA after a long trip and being greeted with sights straight out of movies like Heat or Colors I decided to spend the last dollars I had on a hotel room, one that included its own bathroom and had clean sheets on a nice bed. I left the train and found some yellow pages hanging by the phone booths. I picked one up and looked for hotels. I called the Hollywood Roosevelt based on its name including the word Hollywood. I wasn’t quite sure if it was any good, but I phoned anyway. They had a room I could afford on my budget so I booked there and then.

After an awkward check in (I was somewhat disheveled, with a dirty old backpack, the kind that had metal bars on either side and stains from being dragged around, not a sight any of the hotel staff appeared to be used too), I went to my room and had the best nights sleep I’d had in a few months.

The morning after I cleaned myself up and went down for breakfast. I was amazed to see the Smashing Pumpkins as well as Neil Young walking through reception, this must be some sort of hotel I thought..After breakfast I went to reception to ask about Universal Studios, I wanted to get on the Universal backlot, the part where they’d filmed some of the best scenes from Back to the Future (and many other movies). There I met 3 women in their late 60’s, each had lost their husbands and were on a trip around the USA together. They wanted to see Universal studios too, and although at 23 I usually avoided oldies (back then I thought I was too cool) I decided to hang out with them as they were happy to hang out with me and I wanted the company with no complications.

We travelled there on a bus and spent much of the day together, taking photo’s and enjoying the history. I got to sit in the original K.I.T.T from Knight Rider, an original Back to the Future DeLorean (as well as experience the awesome ride) and go on the then new Jurassic Park ride that had recently opened. It was great to learn about their lives and they were interested in mine. It was that day that taught me everyone has a story, and just because someone is older than me it doesn’t mean they’re not interesting (in fact, I’ve learned people older than me are much more interesting).

On the way back to the hotel, my new friends told me that it was where the first Oscars were hosted and David Hockney had painted the swimming pool (I love many of David Hockney’s paintings). There was a lot of movie history in the hotel and it was practically next door to the Chinese Theater (where most movie premiers still take place).

So how does all this relate to Legoland Denmark? The people here are fantastic, the park is clean, well kept and the facilities are incredible (there are even family rooms with free nappies and changing facilities). Universal studios was incredibly well kept, maintained and the people who worked there were incredibly helpful and friendly too. None if this is something I’m used too coming from the UK, where customer satisfaction is rarely a priority and customer facing employees are not usually happy (a common result from being contracted at low pay rates).

People often say to me the American customer service culture is fake, where it’s done for tipping and not genuine. Maybe that’s partly true? Right now I’m totally grateful for the Danish customer culture as it doesn’t appear to be about tips (it’s not a tipping culture). It’s about being the best human you can be in that moment, one that understands we’re all in this world together, a genuine care for the outcome of others. Legoland Denmark has shown me this and I thought it wouldn’t. What a wonderful place.

1. Quote I’ve been pondering this week “Somewhere something incredible is about to be known” – Sharon Begley

2. We haven’t had a TV or internet connection for 3 weeks now (we still don’t). Last week our 5 year old asked to watch a DVD, so we set it up and he watched a Lego animated short. He’s happy with our situation, he watches a Lego short each day and then carries on with his non-passive play. We’ve not given him a device or introduced him to technology as a pacifier to boredom or emotions (and we don’t plan to). As time goes by I’m more thankful for this decision, as growing evidence continues to show the negative impact it’s likely to have into adulthood. Check out this recent article if you’re concerned or have problems with technology addiction and children.

3. Largest purchase – Once there is Danish Krone in our bank account (in the next few days) we’ve decided to buy this family bike. We’re going car free, so soon we’ll be carting the kiddos around in their front bucket and able to carry the shopping + dog too, amazing!

4. It was fathers day on Sunday. This article describes the change society is having regarding fatherhood and one line says it all for me “Dad’s don’t babysit (it’s called “parenting”)?”

I only really knew my father over the course of 10 years before he died. Up until that time he’d been an enigmatic man, rarely existing in my life. So I made the most of being with him when I could, which I’m grateful for. Between the age of 23 and 33 I visited him often, at his home near Seattle. I learned about his struggles with fatherhood after divorce as well as spent time with his new family (he remarried). Learning about him was a joy and at 24 he was the person I gave my first conscious hug to.

5. Sleepmaster – I’ve mentioned this before and want to mention it again as its revolutionary, yet simple design is helping me sleep. Here in Denmark it’s currently light until around 11pm and the sun shines through the blinds at 3:30am, so having something to stop my body thinking it’s time to rise before 5am is a godsend. Tim Ferriss advocated for it on his podcast, and a friend recommended it to me, I’ll be eternally grateful!

I recently read this Thrive post on understanding how to have what you want in life. It quickly helped me understand that I already know what to do in order to have what I want, and that gave me a little freedom and lighter feeling.

The method described reminds me a of the ten year plan for a remarkable life (put remarkably well by this blogger) Where Debbie Millman outlines the process she teaches to take a person on a semi-unconscious journey, a journey to a life they want to have ten years from now. If you haven’t done the exercise (or even if you have already) I recommend reading that particular blog post about it.

Ultimately we all know what must be done to achieve what we want out of life, so why do so many of us not do what’s needed? Is it comfort? Are we scared of the risks and what / who we might lose? For me it’s a bit of all three. It seems I’ve been unconsciously balancing my life in a way that gives me chunks of comfort, then I seem to go all out and create massive change. I’ve done this since I can remember, with bouts of travel, role changes and pushing myself to the limits mentally and emotionally. My recent move to a different work place, and then subsequent move to Denmark may also be the unconscious result of knowing what to lose in order to get closer to the freedom and life I desire. I’m not entirely sure though, as sometimes it feels I’m moving away from the life I want. The last 8 months were not a conscious plan, I wasn’t looking for a new workplace or country to live in.

“Do what you will. Even if you tear yourself apart, most people will continue doing the same things.” – Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

With all the change I’ve made recently I’ve noticed it hasn’t come without its physical and mental problems. Weirdly, as much as I strive for continuous learning and experiences, my mind and body suffer due to it. There are days where I’m mentally and physically exhausted and I know my family are too, it’s hard. I’m grateful that what’s hard right now has been my own choice and not forced upon me, all in it’s actually a privileged position to be in.

So there are days where I doubt myself and my recent choices. This happens most when I see my 5 year old son struggling as he comes to terms with missing his friends. I also find myself wondering if I’m suited to a smaller company, one that has growing pains and not yet made it’s dent in the universe. I miss my friends too, most of whom I worked with for the last 18 years, where work was a social place. We worked hard, achieved great things and became close friends, that has all since changed.

“Now is the time to get serious about living your ideals. How long can you afford to put off who you really want to be? Your nobler self cannot wait any longer. Put your principles into practice – now. Stop the excuses and the procrastination. This is your life! […] Decide to be extraordinary and do what you need to do – now.” – Epictetus, The Art of Living

I’m going through the exercise in the article mentioned at the beginning of this post. On the one had it’s scary as we can’t always have what we want. On the other it’s freeing as simply knowing what to give up in exchange for what one wants is amazing. I’ve given up a lot to keep moving forward and despite the days where I have doubt, deep down I know I’m on the right track.