“Each of us must confront our own fears, must come face to face with them. How we handle our fears will determine where we go with the rest of our lives. To experience adventure or to be limited by the fear of it.” – Judy Blume
We all have fears, for many they’re not life threatening, like a fear of heights, public speaking or spiders. I used to have 2 limiting fears, the fear of getting cancer and the fear of losing my ability to understand and communicate. At a young age I saw family members / friends die from cancer and suffer from strokes. In fact, my family have pretty much all died from either cancer or a stroke, so I’m confident if I live to a ripe age, one of the 2 is likely to try and take me.
I used to have a 3rd fear and that was getting eaten by a shark. A strange fear for a person who doesn’t live near the sea in the UK (and the UK isn’t exactly known for its shark infested waters…) My fear of being gobbled by a shark came at the age of 7 or 8 when I crept downstairs one Saturday night and saw my mum watching a scene from Jaws the movie, the part where actor Robert Shaw was in his fishing boat getting eaten by Jaws. There was blood, screaming and huge white teeth the size of bananas chomping down until he disappeared into an ocean soaked in red.
Shortly after, we moved to an island off the south coast of England called the Isle of Wight. Despite living a 5 minute walk from a beautiful beach, one where my mum and brother swam regularly, I could not get over my fear of a shark attack so didn’t swim in the sea. I practically gave up swimming altogether, running away from my fear instead of facing it head on.
“If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment. “- Marcus Aurelius
That was until my twenties, while on an island in Thailand. It was then I faced my fear and overcame it. I was on a remote part of Ko Tao, a section of the island where only 4 wheel drive vehicles and a hike could get you there (it’s not like that anymore). I was sleeping on a beach with a handful of others. Each day a brother and sister from New Zealand would snorkel out to sea in the early hours and come back around lunch time. I got talking to them after a few days and they persuaded me to join them. They’re ritual was a morning swim they named breakfast with the sharkies. The sharks they swam with were black tip (like mini great whites – well not so mini when you consider many of them were up to 2 meters long).
Within a few days I was snorkeling each morning with them and the sharks were following, circling me along the way. From my first time, where I became so frightened half way out, I began to tread water watching 6 shark fins circling me (like a scene from Jaws). To the last snorkel I had there, where the sharkies were so used to me I was able to swim close enough and be accepted by them, so much so it felt like I had pet sharks.
“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
Since that time I’ve had a fascination with sharks, a healthy one, one where I’m no longer afraid of swimming in the sea, which was great for my time in Australia and Fiji where I learned to surf and enjoyed the sea like I never could have if it weren’t for that brother and sister from New Zealand.
Facing fears, no matter how trivial, isn’t easy on your own. Most of the time it takes the kindness of others to get you through to the other side. If you have a fear that’s holding you back, don’t go it alone, seek and accept help from others to conquer that fear, you too could be swimming with sharkies…
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Tim Ferriss did a great TV series on fearing less, as well as a TED talk on defining and overcoming fear. If you have fears holding you back I recommend checking them out for inspiration:
Tim Ferriss TED talk: https://www.ted.com/talks/tim_ferriss_why_you_should_define_your_fears_instead_of_your_goals
Fear(less): http://www.imdb.com/title/tt6245388/
“There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life.” – John Lennon