Category: Blog

The key to achieving more is knowing that you need to manage. You manage things and lead people, so the only person amazing managers manage is themselves. Understanding this is the key to getting the most out of each day.

Below are 5 ways I make the most out of my days. Try them for yourself, I think you’ll be amazed at how much time you then have.

1. Understand who you are. A few years ago in a new role, I became frustrated by office politics and decided to learn from Oliver James’ book Office Politics: How to Thrive in a World of Lying, Backstabbing and Dirty Tricks. It opened my mind to modern human psychology and enabled me to better deal with my surroundings. While this was going on I became a father for the first time and wanted to do what I could to be a great parent. I looked into another book by Oliver James, They F*** You Up: How to Survive Family Life. This helped me realize I have default reactions to certain situations as well as why I have them. Over the next 6 months, I began to truly understand myself, how I react around others and how to recognize the signals so I can better adapt. I am now the greatest manager I have ever had.

2. Personal Kanban. This book: Personal Kanban – Mapping Work | Navigating Life changed everything for me (I favour Trello for my Kanban in case you’re interested in a great tool). Once I mastered personal Kanban, I became hugely effective at managing things and getting them done. Personal Kanban is based around just 2 principles: Visualize your work and Limit your work-in-progress. Get the book, learn, take action and get things done, this is step 2 to being a great manager.

3. Practice the Pomodoro technique. The Pomodoro technique is about completing 25 minutes of continuous uninterrupted work, followed by a 5 minute break. Science claims that it has cracked the code to our brain and that 20 – 45 minute intervals can maximize our attention and mental activity if followed by a short break. It works for me and millions of others, make sure it’s part of your management toolbox.

4. Understand and practice the principles of Peter Drucker’s Effective Executive. Drucker’s whole book is based on managing yourself for effectiveness. Don’t be fooled by the outdated title and the fact it was written in 1967. In today’s age, when so many talk of productivity, it’s refreshing to go back to Drucker and see productivity is primarily for machines and process, the real magic for humans is effectiveness. The best summary I’ve used is here: https://hbr.org/2004/06/what-makes-an-effective-executive. Read this, get the book for reference and make yourself truly effective.

5. Become an Essentialist. The art of essentialism has been described in a remarkable and practical way by Greg McKeown in his book Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less. I do less, but better, it’s the way of the essentialist. Doing this enables me to make the highest possible contribution. Try it for yourself, it’s an essential part of effective management.

Marcus Aurelius said in his meditations:

“If you seek tranquillity, do less. Or (more accurately) do what’s essential…Which brings a double satisfaction: to do less, better.”

Lastly, I’d be doing this list a disservice by not highlighting mindfulness. A somewhat over used and at times, misunderstood term that describes the energy of being aware and awake to the present moment. I meditate every day; I haven’t included meditation in the above list as it’s not something everyone needs in order to be a great manager. For me however, it’s enhanced my effectiveness. Thich Nhat Hanh describes in his book How to Relax what true meditation is

“…to pay full attention to something. An opportunity to look deeply into ourselves and into the situation we’re in”

This can be a key part of understanding who you are, the first step to making the most of each day..

Note: This is an updated version of one of my most popular LinkedIn posts from early 2017.

Choosing gratitude is a long continuous journey and one I’m (ironically) hugely grateful for. Before I focused on gratitude I was doing ok in life, yet once I chose the path of being more grateful, everything got simpler and started to slot into place.

Gratitude has been scientifically proven to strengthen your immune system, make you happier and more optimistic as well as making you less lonely and isolated, it’s amazing.

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough.” – Melodie Beatty

It’s important to note that gratitude isn’t about settling for what you have, it’s about being grateful for what you have. Being ambitious, seeking change and taking what you want is as much about gratitude as it is about owning your life. What we have is enough, it shouldn’t stop your ambitions however.

A few days ago, I got out of a taxi at the airport. I went to grab my bag from the boot and it unlatched itself, hitting me in the head. I felt a large smack and a throbbing that hurt like hell. After the taxi driver apologised I thought all was ok and made my way into the terminal. I felt something on my face and saw people staring at me, it was blood dripping down from my forehead. I started to feel dizzy and sat down for a moment. I wiped my forehead with my sleeve and didn’t think it was too bad. I continued to the check in where the lady promptly called for first aid and sat me down.

A guy was pushed to the front of the line as he was late for his flight. As he walked past he asked what was going on and saw my wound. Even though he was time bound and being ushered through, he stopped, opened his suit case and took out his first aid kit. He was insistent that he could help while I waited for the airport first aid. He took time cleaning my cut and placed a plaster on it to help stop the bleeding.

I could have been angry at the taxi driver, angry at the situation and angry that I had a gash on my forehead. Instead I was calm and grateful it hadn’t knocked me unconscious or worse made a severe open wound preventing me from flying. Being in a calm state made me approachable and I went from being grateful it wasn’t worse to being grateful for the kindness of strangers.

It turns out one of the benefits of being grateful is that it makes you more easily approachable and people like you more.

I’m Currently reading Option B by Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant. A wonderful and terrific book. It’s also one of the hardest books I’ve ever read. At it’s core it’s about resilience and gratitude. It’s not a hard read because it’s poorly written, it’s a hard read because it’s full of stories of loss and grief, amazing stories full of gratitude at times of suffering. It’s packed with incredible stories of how friends and family supported their loved ones through their grief and how as humans we are hard wired to survive the toughest of situations. There is always an option B and as Sheryl puts it, her husbands death taught her to kick the shit out of Option B.

Option B involves gratitude. You can be a victim in life or you can harness gratitude, I prefer to harness gratitude as it’s making my life more wonderful every day.

“Don’t Be Pushed by Your Problems. Be Led by Your Dreams” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

You can start by keeping a gratitude journal, it’s something I’ve done for a couple of years. The 5 minute journal is amazing for this as it has specifics for the morning and evening. Specifics like 3 amazing things that happened that day. Writing these 3 things before sleep has a powerful effect on our brains, one that tells us we’re achieving rather than thinking about our failures.

If you’re interested, below is a great site that covers how you can begin to truly embrace gratitude in your life, it’s not that difficult, it’s not all woo woo and it only comes with benefits.

https://www.unstuck.com/gratitude/

“People who say they sleep like a baby usually don’t have one.” ~ Leo J. Burke

I’ve always been a light sleeper and so it came as a shock to the system when we chose to have a family bed after becoming parents. We chose co-sleeping as it felt right for us and were inspired to do so by some friends as well as studies and writings on the continuum concept.

So 5 years ago I began my journey of learning to sleep next to a feeding baby that turned into a (sometimes) kicking toddler. The guest room saw me visiting several times each week during that transition and it took over 18 months for me to master going back to sleep after waking. Our guest room is still seeing me in the early hours on nights before my early start commute, as we’re currently in repeat mode with our newest addition. I have glowing admiration for my wife Mandie, I’m astounded at how she keeps going some days (I’m nowhere near as strong and functional a parent on little sleep).

What I’ve recently realised is there are always other reasons behind not going back to sleep, which is my most common issue. Being woken up by babies and children is common for all parents, it’s the being unable to fall back to sleep that’s not as common, so why is this?

It seems among the myriad of reasons for types of insomnia the most common are our thoughts. If we have things going on in our lives that we think of often, then it’s likely we’ll be waking up and finding it hard to resume sleeping.

Stress seems to be one of the most common factors. Millions of people suffer from insomnia due to stress, many don’t even realise they are stressed as it comes in many different forms. I don’t feel stressed, though realise when our first son was born I’d recently started a new job in London that came with a commute, and we’d also bought a house, turning our lives somewhat upside down for a while.

Late last year I actually did it all again, moving jobs with a commute (even longer this time) and right now we’re in the middle of selling our home and moving to Denmark, perhaps this plays a part in my current waking at night? I feel ok and in control so who knows?

Outside of the obvious I’ve found a few other reasons people wake at night / earlier than usual, and then find it difficult resuming sleep, here are 3 that stand out.

• Coffee and caffeine has a proven negative impact on sleep, especially if you have it late in afternoon or evening
  https://medium.com/the-mission/the-latest-time-you-should-drink-coffee-according-to-science-8c1db17bca21
• Too hot or too cold? Wearing socks to bed regulates your temperature. If you sleep with a partner there is also an interesting benefit to this http://www.thisisinsider.com/why-you-should-wear-socks-to-bed-2017-9
• Falling in love? This isn’t so good for sleep. As the saying goes ‘If you want to know where your heart is, look to where the mind goes when it wanders’. https://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/health-and-fitness/health-advisor/falling-in-love-why-youll-kiss-your-sleep-goodbye/article16730134/

So it turns out the answer to a good nights sleep is becoming a non coffee drinking hermit who wears socks to bed. Not as practical a solution as I’d hoped.

All in, whatever sleep I achieve on any given night, I’m super grateful for it. There are many people who don’t have a comfortable bed or a roof over their heads and I try to remember this fact as often as I can.

As I write this I’m sat next to a window on a train whizzing through the British countryside. The sun is shining its warm rays on my face and I’m remembering life doesn’t always go to plan, and when that happens making the best of what we’re given leads to greatness. I’m thinking this as my life isn’t quite going the way I expected right now.

I was lucky to have terrific friends as a kid (I’m grateful I’m still friends with many of them). At that time this meant the trials and disasters of my childhood were regularly softened, and looking back it turns out I needed them more than they needed me.

Life is about choice. Who you choose to devote time with, what you do from minute to minute and how you react to the choices you make. I chose my friends back then and luckily they chose me too.

“The strong bond of friendship is not always a balanced equation; friendship is not always about giving and taking in equal shares. Instead, friendship is grounded in a feeling that you know exactly who will be there for you when you need something, no matter what or when.” – Simon Sinek

Life for me began to change as a teenager, when I started to crave solitude. I began to look at Clint Eastwood characters and Batman as role models. These characters didn’t need others to live a life, they didn’t need anything.

So my life of not needing began. I wanted, I just made sure I didn’t need. Needing meant when something wasn’t there I’d be in trouble or feel pain, I didn’t want that.

This wasn’t restricted to just things, it covered people too. I made sure I didn’t need people, I wanted them instead. If I needed them and they left, pain would set in. I’m still like this in many ways and it’s not something I’ve shared often as when I have, people have taken offence. For me, wanting a person in my life is far more valuable and rewarding than needing them.

Thankfully the people I spend time with prevent me from going it alone to the extreme. There are many people I want in my life and I’m lucky enough for them to want me in theirs. Sometimes I think if it weren’t for these people I’d be in some home made hut on a remote island off the Pacific. Eating ants and berries Bear Grylls style.

“Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants” – Epictetus, Stoic philosopher

I’m a simple person at heart, a person who doesn’t do complicated well, i.e. my preference is for an uncomplicated life. The problem I’m now facing is that life for me is more complicated than ever, so I’ve started to look at why.

Since 2015 I’d been living the life of an essentialist, that is understanding I could have anything, just not everything. A life of less, but better. This ties in with not needing but choosing to want instead (and limiting that want).

I’d learned about essentialism after reading the book by Greg McKeown. From the food I ate, to the people I spent time with and the media I digested, I started to choose more carefully, making sure to eliminate the non essential. As I was doing this I noticed I was creating a calm and happiness in my life I’d never experienced before, it was possibly the most mindful and stress free time I’d ever had.

“Possession isn’t nine-tenths of the law. It’s nine-tenths of the problem” – John Lennon

Then the issue of predictability appeared. My life had become predictable, comfortable and lacking adventure.

So when the opportunity to turn everything upside appeared I took it. I moved jobs towards the end of last year and everything changed, almost overnight.

It’s not just the long commute or the culture shock of going from a large organisation to a much smaller one. It’s that everything was suddenly different and that difference was like night and day. I started to need things, like the trains running on time, tribal information from others at work and feelings of accomplishment. Things I hadn’t felt the need for or relied upon in a long time.

I began to crave the company of others, people I wouldn’t normally spend time with and it felt good, it still does.

So life is difficult and it’s supposed to be, an easy life is not a fulfilling life.

“The best things in life are often waiting for you at the exit ramp of your comfort zone.”– Karen Salmansohn

So when another opportunity recently appeared, one that would change life dramatically again, my wife and I decided to go for it. We’d agreed that life for us must include adventure, as well as the passing on of adventure to our children.

I’d also figured out I was beginning to need and that’s not something I’m totally comfortable with. I’m now actively working on not relying on, or needing things. I am heading back to freedom.

So, we’re off to Denmark in June, relocating our lives with the Danes, working for Unity in the capital Copenhagen. I’m not entirely sure where this will lead, though it does keep me on track for being out of my comfort zone. It also gets me to a place where I can experience more than life has to offer from the usual suburban lifestyle.

“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone” – Aubrey Marcus